To Weaken the Heart
by charming oak fluff
Summary: There are things worse than torture. Sometimes you have to watch.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I am not making any money from this. It's just for fun.

**To Weaken the Heart**

"Ronon, do you think you could you at least try to walk in a straight line?"

The only response Rodney got was a grunt followed by a thud as the Satedan fell to his knees. Rodney was pulled along; his arm still wrapped around his teammate's waist.

"You need to get to the gate McKay." Ronon growled.

"Yes thank you I hadn't realized that Conan." Bit back the scientist. "Now get up" Rodney scrambled to his feet and started tugging on Ronon's arm. The last few times the two of them had ended up on the ground they rested for a moment and then struggled up only to continue on their trek through the forest. This time however Ronon didn't even try to get up, he just sort of slumped over sideways towards a tree.

"We're to slow McKay we've barely made a mile in the last hour."

Rolling his eye's Rodney answered "Tells you something about the amount of effort being put into this little venture of ours doesn't it. And let me tell you, it isn't for lack of trying on my part. Now get up!"

"Look around McKay it's just the trees and us. Get to the gate and bring back help. I'm fine."

"Okay, you know what?" Rodney snapped getting more irritated by the second. "I know we have our differences but are you trying to get me kicked off the team? Hmmm? Do you know how many times I have heard Sheppard say that we don't leave anyone behind? If I go back to Atlantis with out you, weather it was to go get help or not, I would be signing my own death sentence. Death by Teyla's mean flying sticks. Is that what you want?"

Ronon glared in the ranting man's direction but the response that the gaze would get normally was hindered by the fact that those sharp brown eyes were cloudy as if they couldn't quiet focus.

"And further more you are not fine. You think your staring at me stoically don't you. You are currently starring at my left ear."

The cloudy eyes shifted more to the center of his face. "That's better but you still have to get up."

Ronon let out a frustrated breath. "It's getting worse McKay. I can barley move my feet. You should go."

Narrowing his eyes Rodney kneeled in the dirt next to the former runner. Running his hands over the mans legs he could feel the muscles jump and constrict under his fingers. "We still have a few hours of light left we need to make it as far as we can tonight then maybe we can get to the ruins tomorrow. They will probably send someone after us so let's put as much distance between us and them as we can. Now come on. You can laugh at me later while you play Boy Scout leader by trying to teach me how to start a fire."

"Boy Scout?"

"I'll explain on the way." Rodney got behind the other man and placed both his hands under his friend's armpits but trying to pull him to his feet this way proved useless. "I should get a badge of honor for putting my hands under there." Rodney muttered wiping his palms on his pant legs. "Okay we'll do this the old fashioned way." Going to Ronon's side and crouching he maneuvered his arm under Ronon's shoulder and grasped his wrist as it was slung over his own shoulder. "On the count of three." "Three" the other man mumbled as he tried to get his feet under him it took two more tries but finally they were on their way.

"Be prepared." Rodney muttered "Why am I never prepared?" As he and Ronon struggled on through the dim light of the forest Ronon asked "What's a Boy Scout?" "A boy scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent." Rodney quoted from memory. There was silence for a moment as the two struggled through the forest. "You were never a Boy Scout were you McKay." Ronon stated. "Of course not. It's an American thing."

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"I'm officially calling off the search." Elizabeth said. John's eye's narrowed as Teyla's widened in surprise.

"Elizabeth how could you do that?" questioned Teyla.

"Yes Elizabeth, how could you do that?" Asked John. His voice was cold and there was an undercurrent of something she couldn't quiet identify. Elizabeth Weir sat up straighter. Narrowing her own eye's at the two of them she kept her voice calm.

"If ether of you would care to let me finish I will explain."

"What's there to explain Doctor?" John questioned. His tone gave Elizabeth cause to stop momentarily. If this was what is was like for Rodney after Doranda, no wonder the man had been so desperate to get back in John's good graces.

"John. I said I am officially calling off the search. Unofficially is another matter all together." At his grimace she gave him a curt nod and folded her hands on the top of her desk. Staring at the two remaining members of her first contact team that were sitting in the chairs facing her desk she went on. "The IOA is placing a lot of pressure on me to stop wasting our recourses on those that they believe to be a lost cause."

"Ronon and Rodney are not a lost cause!" exclaimed Teyla.

Sighing Elizabeth looked out the glass window at the Stargate. "They have been gone almost two months."

"Elizabeth?" Hearing that venom leaking into John's voice again she pushed her own doubts aside and continued.

"Yes they could still be out there waiting on a rescue which is why unofficially we will still look for them. The leaders of the other SGA teams have agreed to keep an eye out and continue to ask after them on every planet they visit. The only thing changing is that we can no longer plan missions specifically for you and Teyla to search for them." Seeing the protests on both of their lips she raised a hand to quiet them. "I have arranged for you both the take time off from you normal duties to grieve for you teammates. As of now consider your selves on meet and greet duties only. You will travel to heavy populated planets specifically those with markets where you will try to meet new trading partners. If you happen to ask around for Rodney and Ronon while you're there I don't think that it is a big enough issue to put in the mission reports."

"Thank you Elizabeth" Teyla said sincerely. Nodding her head at the retreating Athosians back Elizabeth turned her eyes to John who had not gotten up from his seat.

"Thanks, and I'm sorry about before it's just that…."

"I know John. Just don't be surprised when you get the memo that they have both been placed on the MIA presumed KIA list." John ran his had through his hair making it stand on end more than ever before.

"I'm sorry John but if we want the search to continue it will have to be behind the IOA's back."

"I know, but somehow it feels like giving up on them." He slouched in his chair and he seemed so discouraged Elizabeth had to say something.

"We're not giving up." She stood and placed her hands on her desk leaning in closer to Sheppard's face. "We don't leave men behind John."

He stood and turned to leave her office, at the door he looked back. Grinning he ran a hand through his hair again. "We'll find them." Nodding his head as if to confirm this thought he turned and left activating his radio as he went. "Teyla meet me in the mess. We have a meet and greet mission to plan."

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My sight was blurry but I could make out shapes, light and dark and right now it was getting dark quickly. McKay must have noticed it also because we came to a stop a few minuets later. I found my back pressed up against a tree and hands on my shoulders guiding me with gentle pressure urging me to slide down the trunk and rest on the ground.

"Time for that lesson in…. pyrotechnics" I heard Rodney say. He was out of breath and trying hard not to show it.

When I had first met the man he was hanging upside down in a tree begging to be let down. He hadn't made a good first impression. But as the months wore on and I spent more time with him on Sheppard's team, I began to see a strength in him that few people bothered to find. He didn't let people see it often but I knew that there was a bravery in him that came out when he was protecting his team.

"Find some dry wood. We'll go from there." I said my voice hoarse and scratchy. I heard him move off into the woods searching as he went.

He didn't make friends easily I thought, returning to my musings about my teammate. Friends were something that he took seriously. It didn't happen over night and you had to earn the privilege to even be considered. His loyalty rivaled that of my fellow soldiers in the army on Sateda, and when he did consider you a friend, you weren't just a friend, you became family. Something he didn't have much of. None of us did. Sheppard was my brother, Teyla was my sister but as much as I trusted Rodney I wasn't sure where he fit into my family. .

He came back into camp and dropped a load of wood by my legs. I cursed myself for not paying attention enough to hearing him come close.

"You didn't hear me did you." He didn't even bother to make it a question he knew the answer. "What ever they gave you is affecting you hearing as well isn't it. How are your eyes?" He asked.

"My hearing is fine and my eyes are the same." I growled. "I was lost in thought." I could almost hear his eye's roll

"Since when do you let your mind wonder especially in a situation like this." His voice was accusing

"I told you I'm fine, I wasn't concentrating." I growled back.

"Can you take watch?" His voice was low and begging an honest answer. Sheppard would have known that I wasn't all there, at least not enough to take a watch but McKay didn't. McKay didn't know as much as a soldier but I gave him credit for trying to do the right thing.

"No" I said. Silence consumed the forest. It was so quiet. My breath started coming rapidly. A roaring filled my ears. A feeling that had almost been my constant companion when I was in my cell came rushing back. Panic. McKay had left me and went back to the gate and as much as I had pushed him to leave I didn't want to be alone. Not like before. A heavy hand settled on my shoulder.

"Ronon? You still here?" I nodded once.

"I'm going to get more wood." He rose to his feet and moved off into the forest.

I sucked in deep breaths trying to even out my breathing. Growling I hit my fist into the ground. I hated this. It was any soldier's worst nightmare. Not being able to fight, completely helpless, and dependent on someone else. Ever since I had joined Sheppard's team I had slowly begun to allow my self to trust again. I trusted my team with my life. I knew I could count on John and Teyla watching my back in a fire fight and I knew that McKay could fix anything from the systems in a jumper to an alien toaster oven. His words not mine. But he was out of his element. I was supposed to protect him not the other way around. I was the one to drag him back to the gate after natives started shooting at us. He was the one that could save us all from disaster with a brilliant plan. How was he going to get us both to the gate with out getting caught? He wasn't. He could shoot a gun with surprisingly good accuracy but when it came to hand to hand combat the man was pretty much useless. Even with a weapon, which we didn't have, it was a lost cause.

McKay came back to camp and after a little while with my help and his clumsy attempts we managed to get a fire going. We were sitting next to it and eating the small amount of bread that McKay had somehow managed to take with him. I was also trying to ignore the fact that I could feel the heat of the fire on my face but I couldn't see anything no shapes no hazy images no light. Nothing. My vision was completely gone.

"I can't see." I mumbled.

"That's funny because I can't ether. Could it have something to do with the fact that it's night?" Came the sarcastic reply from my left.

"I can't see anything. Not even the fire." Keeping an injury from someone in the field was dangerous, but this wasn't something that I knew how to deal with. This wasn't pain that could be managed, this was a weakness. I didn't have those; at least I didn't use to.

"Oh…. really?"

I could feel air rush past my face as if someone was waving a hand in front of my eyes. He probably was.

Rodney sighed. "It wore off before in about 12 hours after you were completely blind. It will ware of again." He sounded determined "You will get your sight back. Look, Ronon, I'm pretty sure that you're going to try and convince me to leave again so I thought that I would save you the trouble and go first. Get this in your thick hair covered head now or else I will beat it in my self. We are both going back to Atlantis. Together."

I smirked. "I wasn't going to try and convince you McKay."

He snorted "Of course you weren't." He took a deep breath. "Get some sleep Ronon. We have a long way to go tomorrow."

Authors Note: What do you think? Any good? Even if the response is negative I am determined to post a complete story but it would be nice to know what people think so far. Oh, and I meant no disrespect towards the boy scouts. It just seemed like a good thing for McKay to grouch about.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ronon. Hey. Wake up!" I shook his shoulder. I know stupid thing to do. Rodney McKay waking Ronon Dex with a shoulder shake. _"It's almost like poking an angry bear with a stick… and the reaction will probably be about the same." _I thought.

At my prodding he sprang onto his feet well, more like scrambled then after a slight moment of hesitation with his head cocked to one side he went into a crouched position.

"Who's there? Melena?" He whispered. His eyes were blank and unresponsive but that didn't stop him from trying to look everywhere at once, sucking in shallow breaths and looking like a frightened cornered rabbit. His hands were balled into fists and rested on the ground in front of him. To any one else it might have looked like a relaxed stance especially for a warrior like Ronon but Rodney could see the muscles jump and twitch under the dark skin. He was coiled tight as a spring.

"_This can't be good."_ Rodney thought. _"The only time its good to have Ronon this tense is if there is a Wraith around to take out his frustration on."_

"Okay, you can do this McKay. He's your teammate." I muttered. "Who is just slightly crazed and irrational at the moment." At my murmurs he head snapped towards me. Dreadlocks whipping around and then settling into place even as his vacant eyes fixed on my location.

"Ronon. It's me McKay….Rodney. Calm down, we need to get moving. Get to the ruins, remember? Back to Atlantis?" I took a step forward talking all the way.

"Just want to help you big guy. Get you back to Beckett to get checked out and good as new." Inching closer to his position I reached out a tentative hand to touch his shoulder.

Big mistake. I was on the ground in an instant his fist imprint on my face. He towered over me and tried to hit me again but I was already on the ground and he was aiming at where my head had been seconds before. Off balance after hitting empty air, the swing that was unobstructed caused him to fall over but didn't end his erratic movements. He started to clamber over the forest floor. Muttering as he went.

"Wraith are coming Melena, we have to go." He reached out with his hands and found the base of a tree. Curling up among the roots his hugged his arms around his chest and began to shiver rocking back and forth. His eyes were glassy but they darted around looking for invisible enemies.

"Ouch." I muttered as I reached up to touch my cheek from the prone position on the ground. I could feel the new bruise forming on top of the just fading purple abrasions I knew covered my face.

"Okay, that didn't help my already aching head… let's try this again." I said coming into a sitting position.

"Ronon, there are no Wraith, we're safe. We just have to get to the ruins then gate back to Atlantis. It's okay; it's just me. Rodney, your super genius friend that saves you and every one else from disaster at least once a week." Slowly I approached him. Crouching down as I got closer to his huddled form among the protruding roots. I repeated. "It's just me. There are no Wraith."

His shivering body turned toward me. I closed my eyes. For a moment he looked just like he had in the cell. Curled up in a corner hugging his legs to his chest, trying to make his large frame as small as possible.

"McKay?" he asked in a small voice.

I looked into his face and let out a sigh of relief at the recognition in his voice. I let my chin fall to rest on my chest. Taking a moment to answer, I thought about the past year since he had been on the team. I had come to see him as a friend. A strong, powerful friend who threatened to inflict bodily harm every other day, but he was a friend, and it hurt like hell watching him like this. It wasn't like Ronon to be so unsure of something, so dependant on someone else, so scared. He usually protected me, and now our roles had been reversed. It was my turn to protect him. And I didn't have clue as to where to start. _"Breaking him out of his cell was a good start." _I reminded my self.

"But now what?" I asked silently

"_Come on, you know what you have to do. Get him home… he would do it for you."_ Nodding my head at the pep talking inner voice. I finally answered Ronon.

"Yeah. It's me. We need to get moving, it's light and we have a long way to go."

"Kay." He mumbled.

I got down beside him and maneuvered under his shoulder so that he was leaning on me. Almost his entire weight resting on my left shoulder. I winced slightly.

"_Suck it up McKay. One more bruise isn't going to hurt."_

"_Yes it will!" _I snapped back in my head.

"McKay" Ronon said softly

"What?" I muttered, putting more effort into watching the uneven forest floor than our conversation.

"What did I do?" he swallowed.

"I don't remember" I glanced at his face, it was nervous and unsure, something that I wasn't used to seeing on Ronon. I redirected my eyes to the ground.

"Nothing…just woke you up and we got started"

He didn't answer; he just got a determined look on his face and concentrated his sightless gaze in front of us. Walking in silence was horrible I decided after about an hour. Ronon didn't talk a lot anyway but usually I got the impression that he didn't talk because he was trying to ignore me. But this silence felt more like it took to much effort for him to speak.

"How are your eyes?" I questioned. His little freak out this morning had me worried.

"Fine." Came his customary answer. At my own silence he spit out.

"The same."

I sighed. It was taking longer to ware off this time. Turning my thoughts elsewhere started thinking about Ronon's behavior. How could I start to get him to act the way he used to?

"_What can I do to provoke Ronon so he'll yell at me?_

"Did you take watch all last night?" He asked while I was pondering my own question.

"I said that I was going to didn't I?" At my statement he raised an eyebrow. Even blind, going deaf and half out of his mind he could ooze resentment at my limited capabilities when it came to the field.

"_And because he's blind, going deaf and crazy you owe him the truth McKay" _my inner voice, who I refuse to call a conscience, reminded me.

I sighed.

"I think I dozed off a little while before sunrise." I admitted.

"Figures" he mumbled but when I glanced at his face there wasn't any resentment or anger, just that intense concentration that meant his was ether beating the crap out of a marine or trying not to fall over.

"_Pretty sure it's the later."_ I snarked in my head. "Oh shut up." I whispered as we struggled on through the forest.

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Teyla and I stepped out of the gate and into a busy market place. The gate was set up on a pedestal in the middle of a bunch of tents.

" I still don't understand why these people would risk gathering in a place like this. What about a Wraith attack?"

"John, as I said back on Atlantis that has been taken into consideration. Bintoff, the organizer and owner of this market sets up on an uninhabited planet and plans this market. People can pay a small fee to sell their wares. The entire place can be packed up and moved in the span of half an hour. The market is on a different world every month so a wraith attack is unlikely. Come, the person we can get our information from is this way."

"Okay. You did say that the people here are fare and that we would be safe here right?"

"Of course John."

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"Dr. Weir, incoming traveler. Colonel Sheppard's IDC. "

"Lower the shield Chuck." Dr. Weir commanded.

She walked to the railing and stood watching the shimmering pool of azure. Half-expecting Colonel Shepherd and Teyla to walk back through defeated yet again, she blinked in surprise when they came running into the gate room out of breath.

"Raise the Shield!" She yelled as she ran down the steps onto level ground with the gate. Holding out a hand to stand down the marines that had aimed their weapons on the gate the Dr. looked on in surprise as Colonel Sheppard tapped his commlink.

"Lorne! I want your team and Conner's in the jumper bay and geared up in ten." Tapping again he called "Beckett meet me in the jumper bay with any equipment you need for a rescue mission in ten minuets. "Turning to his startled leader he said.

" I think we found them."

Weir looked to Teyla to confirm this statement. At the Athosians nod she ran back up to her office with the excited gate travelers right behind her. Silence ensued until all three were seen speaking in Dr. Weir's office. When the door hissed shut every scientist, gate technician and marine in the room hit his or her commlink to spread the news. A rescue mission for Ronon Dex and Rodney McKay was under way.

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"If there was ever a time for a rescue it would be now Sheppard." Rodney McKay muttered. He and Ronon had struggled to make it to the ruins all day yesterday and Rodney hadn't known how close they had been. Last night they had walked until it was pitch black and still they hadn't made it. He was sure that they were close but he wasn't sure how close. Turns out that they were only a few hundred yards from the ruins they had been striving for.

"_Good thing that it was to dark for me to try and find fire wood last night." _He thought. The flames would surly have alerted the three guards that he was starring at. Letting the branch he had been peering through fall back into its natural place he crept back towards where he and Ronon had dropped the night before. Upon reaching his friends side he whispered.

"How's your vision?" At Ronon's sightless glare that was sent his general direction, Rodney sighed and glanced around as if expecting the answer to their dilemma to pop out from behind the moss covered trees. "Right. Well… now we have a problem."

Authors Note: Okay, I know that there isn't any back-story on how all of this happened but I promise it's coming! I did try and stick to one perspective this time. (Thanks for pointing that out sj2107) and no this story isn't written yet but it will be updated frequently. And as a new author may I say that getting reviews is really rewarding so keep them coming!!!!!


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